Why submission is not completely a gift


Only about 70% of your submission can be gifted . The other 30% has to be taken from you by force.  In order to get that other 30% out of you, you need force.  You need discipline.  You need punishments. You consequences. You need rules.  You need structure.  A submissive cannot submit completely without these things. We need the gift of dominance in order to submit completely.  The two are directly tied.  Like any other relationship, it’s takes two to tango.

In fact, the more I think about it, as I’m writing this; the gift of dominance is the backbone of the relationship.   How can I possibly submit to someone who does not offer me discipline, punishments, rules, structure………..I cannot!  And I wouldn’t want to.  It would never work!  The only way you can truly submit is if you’re truly dominated!

Control us, force us, beat us, make us submit, make us yours.  That is the dominant’s role.  And our role is to say, “Yes Sir”.

The dominant has the power.  He has the key.  He is the one that decides if we will submit 100% or 70%.  We will give Him what He chooses to take.

So how can anyone say submission is a truly a gift?



  1. a sub's missives · February 27, 2015

    I like this. Never thought of it that way. It’s like a tango dance and one can’t completely do that alone. As submissives we can give 100% of our 70% contribution, but you are right… there is something left at the end that must be taken by the Dominant.

  2. a sub's missives · February 28, 2015

    Reblogged this on A Sub's Missives.

  3. Shalom · February 28, 2015

    A gift can’t exist without a recepient and vice versa. Thought provoking… thank you!

  4. scar08 · February 28, 2015

    Reblogged this on scar08.

  5. missameliaandsir · February 28, 2015

    I agree that my submission becomes stronger and deeper every time he claims me as HIS. Just remember, he can’t take what you don’t give.

  6. porncahontas · March 1, 2015

    The more He punishes me, the more I submit. I never realised that until reading this.

    • daddyslilsub · March 2, 2015

      I do the same. I need Him to push me. I need Him to be hard on me.

  7. theagingsub · June 29, 2015

    In my mind, it’s the structure and accountability of the relationship that is the backbone, and it does go both ways. It requires communication and vulnerability from both, give and take, gift and acceptance, and most importantly follow through…from both.

    Thought provoking, thank you.


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